You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize