WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
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You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
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we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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