I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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