I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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