I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
