well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
