idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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