Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
