I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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