He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
