my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
