So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
