You really coming over, don't trick.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
