Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
