I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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