You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
