The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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