google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.