Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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