i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
