I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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