can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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