Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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