OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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