Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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