They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
