Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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