hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
This baby is an asshole
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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