No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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