Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
