it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize