Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
