She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
