suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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