My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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