he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
