There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
