My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
