She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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