At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize