what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
