If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
