It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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