I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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