my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize