he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
