I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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