PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
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There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
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They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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