do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
