why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
