Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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