I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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