my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
are you so shy because you have an std?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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