so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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