How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
