There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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