i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
