they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
