Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
