I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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