So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
