Just cropdusted the office
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
