did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
