How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
