Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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