Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Boobs speak an international language.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
