don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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